Airport Security

After a rather "emotional" flight in which the aircraft became schizophrenic, and then succeeded in accomplishing the near impossible task of scaring the living shit out of Jet Driver not once but five times, we elected to divert to the wonderful city of culture and high social evolution that is Manchester in the United Kingdom.

Ever feel completely out of place in your Lacoste shirt and Dockers trousers? Surrounded by Burberry-clad wankers in puffa jackets adorned with faux fur and cubic zirconium, side-kicked by greasy ringlet-haired life drop-outs wheeling two-year olds in a buggy that looks like something from space, while screaming obscenities into a mobile phone with more luminous strobes on it than an eighties disco.

It got better at the airport on the return journey. Go to security. "Make way ladies and gentlemen" said the guard, "aircrew coming through."

The usual Red Sea parting but I give a courtesy yield to the Airport Police Officer who is coming through to begin his shift.

He was sporting the following:

A pair of black police overalls.

A black baseball cap with "Police" written on it.

A bullet-proof vest and both shoulder and knee protectors.

An automatic weapon.

A pistol.

A telescopic baton.

A tin of pepper spray.

A couple of MagLites.

Various webbing pouches containing a first aid kit and a Leatherman tool.

And he's carrying a small plastic "Marks & Spencers" bag.

He walks around the security cordon, as he is wont to do.

"Uhmmmmm excuse me, sir." says the pre-pubescent, acne-covered "security agent" at the counter "You can't take that with you."

"I'm sorry. What?" says the copper.

"The banana and the bottle of water sir....leave it here please. Now. Quickly. I have passengers to deal with."

Cop replies with: "Have you got a supervisor mate? You know...someone who looks after you and makes sure you can find the bus home? Or better still....where are your parents? Does your Dad know you're here?", and plonked both banana and water into said moron's hands, while at the same time towering menacingly over him in a way that only heavily-armed police officers can.

Whoops and cheers from crew and passengers alike.

What the fuck is happening at your airports UK?

What indeed is happening to your entire country?

People.....stand up and stop this crap from happening.

Door to Door Begging Scam

In relation to the thread posted a while ago about the man who knocks on the door and says that his father is sick and a doctor for His Majesty.....

Well, he has just knocked on Jet Driver's door.

I gave him no money and then attempted to follow him but he drove so wrecklessly that I had to stop my pursuit.

He is driving a rented car and the registration plate is 6386T - a small white car.

Can anyone tell me now who would be the best person to contact about this scam?

JD

UPDATE:

According to the ROP, if he did not take any money then there is no point in me pursuing him. However, they did say that if any of you out there have lost money to him that they can pick him up using the data from the registration of the vehicle and then he can be charged if you recognise him.

JD

Switzerland Bans Minarets!

The population of Switzerland has voted to ban the building of minarets in its country.

The proposal to ban minarets, apart from the four existing ones, was put forward by the Swiss People's Party which said that minarets are a sign of "Islamisation" and that banning the tower-like structures, would assist in the elimination of extremist tendencies.

The government is now preparing itself for a potential backlash from Muslim groups both inside and outside of Switzerland.

Justice Eveline Widmer-Schlumpf said that a ban on the construction of new minarets was "not a rejection of the Muslim community, religion or culture."

So, essentially, what she is saying is that rejecting an important piece of Islamic traditional architecture is not actually "rejecting" it, it is just well......rejecting it!

Why not tear down the church towers as well? Or is that different?

Let me tell you something folks....and listen up good....this world is on its way into a state of turmoil and civil unrest like nothing we have ever seen before, and the sad part is that as a common people outside of religion, we are all being played as pawns in some sick game designed to bring us all together under one giant law - "for the good of us all".

It makes me lose sleep, my friends. It really does.

Oman Air PR Nightmare?

So we're all recovered from the big exercise that (pardon the pun) went down over the weekend.

A great job done by all parties concerned however having just had a look at Muscat Mutterings from the ever-entertaining Sythe, I was stunned to see the web-page that the powers that be have decided to put up on the Oman Air website.

This is, in my humble opinion, taking the exercise a step too far. W

ay too far in fact.

You can see the page (if they still have it up) by clicking here.

There's even a rather mawkish statement from the CEO - what on earth were they thinking?

Yes, airlines do post stuff like this on their websites after accidents but seldom to this level of detail. A simple phone number is usually enough. I've never seen anything about body counts and identifying the dead coming up on airline sites before.

Go to any photos of airline crashes from the past and the first thing you will see is the titles and name of the aircraft being covered-up by the airline as no airline wants its name associated with an accident - even if the plane in question is theirs! Accidents and airlines should not be put in the same sentence from a marketing and PR point of view!

Too many presuppositions in this idea. Putting a tiny "exercise" in brackets at the top of the page and repeating it in the text is not enough. People scan webpages - and just seeing the words Salalah and Muscat would be enough to send some folks with families in the region scrambling for mobile phones.

Is there a version in Arabic? What if the reader only has a vague command of the English language. Unnecessary scaring of relatives, friends.......potential future customers! THINK!

And I suppose it would be useless of me to mention how this can further damage the already unstable sales prospects for The Wave.

People will always be people and therefore, as sure as you like, the comment "They must have had a good reason for choosing The Wave." will be echoing around the world at this point.

"Come and buy in The Wave - top quality construction, golf course, sea views and the odd emergency drill in case a 50 ton airliner ends up in your back garden! - not that that will ever happen!"

These things are done worldwide on a monthly basis. But they are done with discretion and certainly not blasted all over the airline's website.

And now that I type this, I've just been informed that Gulf News has picked it up here.

"He said a real aircraft without passengers was placed inside the Wave property behind the Muscat International Airport."........... WTF?!

Madness!

Simply Fantastic!....

If you're a whining, self-obessed religious freakshow nutjob, it might be better to not click the link below as you may not be able to deal with how the normal world sees you.

For the rest of you - click here.

JD

Notice To You All

After last week's debacle, I have decided that I can no longer handle doing my weekly and monthly shopping at Carrefour.

It's now just out of hand - nuts!

No trolleys left when I got there in the mid-afternoon. Waited for the yellow-overalled trolley squad to arrive.

I think that anyone in a yellow zoom-bag is of the "special needs" category so I will not make fun of them - although I do believe that allowing them to roam around the carpark with a giant metal train of trolleys is taking things a stretch too far.

And on the subject of special needs - City Centre security staff riding around on the golf-cart at 30kph while families are trying to get to the shops - not funny, not clever, not safe.

You are supposed to be there for safety. I almost killed you with my car the other day. It almost came down to you or the mother and two kids if I had to swerve......and guess who I would have chosen?

Inside Carrefour is now a joke.

You have been here eight years.......time to get it sorted out folks!

Fun With The Indians

A great few days were had by all. Quite seriously, the best fun you can have with your clothes on!

More fun and games next year!