Saturday, 31 October 2009

Fun With The Indians

A great few days were had by all. Quite seriously, the best fun you can have with your clothes on!
More fun and games next year!

Wednesday, 28 October 2009

Pizza Hut - Salalah

I have to say....Salalah is lovely. Really lovely.
Nice people, nice town and a great coffee shop called Brownies with awesome, switched on staff.

And it is based on the subject of "switched on" that I would like to suggest that some of the Brownies staff be moved to Pizza Hut (it's only a few doors down the road) where I went the other night around 9pm.
(I am assuming the original Pizza Hut Training Team are the same ones who did the job at Darcy's Kitchen.)

Consider it a consultancy move where the staff can be trained to recognize simple little customer service requirements like:

Registering the arrival of a customer.
Coming to get the customer's order within the first half an hour.
Listening to what the customer has asked for and bringing it to them instead of bringing whatever you had in the fridge.
Washing knives and forks, glasses and the table that your guest is at.
Knowing the difference between Pepsi and Orange soda (there is a brilliant visual cue that can be used to help with this)
and finally:

When my order eventually came, I ate my pizza while listening to the following:

"Do The Hokey Cokey" - sung by the children from The Barney Show. Loudly. On repeat.

Suspiciously similar to the CD that they use in the toy shop at City Centre which acts like a forcefield, stopping customers from staying for longer than it takes to walk up and down the first aisle.

Did I ask for it to be changed after the third round? Of course I did.
Did they solve the problem? No.

Instead, they just released the repeat button so that I got happy, clappy, $10,000 dollar child dental-work versions of:

"Happy Birthday To You"
"If You're Happy, And You Know It, Clap Your Hands"

"Ten Green Bottles Hanging On The Wall" faded into the background as I left both the pizza and the incompetency behind.

Altogether now: "Ohhhhhhhhhh Hokey Cokey Cokey! Ohhhhhhhhhh......"

Simply useless!

Sunday, 25 October 2009

The End of Muscat Confidential

Candlelight vigils next to computer screens worldwide are in effect due to reports coming in about the the disappearance of the work-shy and gender-challenged blogger known by the pen-name Undercover Dragon.

The Dragon, owner of the Muscat Confidential blog, vanished last week in a seemingly permanent move, following various "practice" vanishings over the past eight weeks.

It is thought that a possible scam draw for rave party tickets, may have been a contributory factor in these recent events.

Anyone catching sight of the Undercover Dragon, should not approach it, as to do so may result in any number of ailments - particularly an extreme feeling of having no motivation and "nothing to blog for".

A helpline has been set up for hard-core bloggers suffering shock or withdrawal symptoms from the Muscat Confidential blog.

Trained counsellors can be contacted on 900-729373.
All calls are anonymous and confidential.

Monday, 19 October 2009

Begging Scam

Imagine my surprise when I read a comment on Suburban's blog recently. I am not the best at putting links into my blogs so you'll have to make do with me copying and pasting Boxster's comments:

"a well dressed man (clean and ironed dishdasha, designer shades) with great english skills stopped by today, apologized profusely, tried to explain that he was a neighbor, locked himself out, his brother is driving from the interior with the spare keys, his father had a stroke a few hours ago, his father's normal doctor of 25 years is traveling with the royal family, and the interim doctor needs payment; all in all asking me for 27 rials.

i said that i didn't know him well enough to lend him money.

one of those days i'll drop by his house (the one supposedly behind the farthest visible from our gates) to check up on his dad.

this is the number to report begging:

What made me reel from reading this is that this is the exact story and individual who ripped off a very kindly Oman Air captain a few weeks ago.
This guy may be targeting ex-pats only as I think that he wouldn't get away with doing this to a local.

Maybe Boxster can shed some more light on where it took place etc, either by commenting here or by email.

Be careful!

Sunday, 18 October 2009

My First Hate Mail!

This came to my inbox last night.
I can only say that I was so scared that I stayed up all night in the wardrobe, living in fear that they would act on their words. I quote:

"You stink wite ass peece of shet!
We no weer you leeve now and tonight we is killin you.
You die muderfacker! Yes we com for you and what can you do ha.
We cat you trot and eyes out. Then you see what happins!
Tonight you dieing!"


Saturday, 17 October 2009

Sometimes Just A Photo Says So Much...

I caught these two over the weekend and felt... compelled to share it with you!
Quite simply....fantastic!

Wednesday, 14 October 2009

Getting Hooked Up In Muscat...

Having had no fewer than four separate experiences of this type of tactic over the past few days, I was beginning to wonder the following:

1. Do I look like I'm gay? .... and

2. Is the basement of Markaz Al Bahja a regular hunting ground for gay males looking for some action?

Lately, the Jet Driver has been doing some work on his house because (and here is further evidence that I may be gay and not know it!), I was getting irked by the kitchen cupboards being the wrong shade of grey to sit between the chinese slate tiles and the brushed steel kitchenware that I have installed.

Anyway, on the past few occasions of standing in the Markaz basement, usually waiting for the 5pm opening of the kitchen shop, I have been eyed up and approached by individuals who had only moments earlier been sitting on the seats with a definite air of "lurking".

"Hi. How are you? You are from where? I see. Ok. Very nice guy. My name is Nasser. And you?"

Now, I know that people here are friendly and I get hellos from all sorts during the day, however, my suspicions of the "pick-up zone" are being added to by further behavioral traits from these men like "over-preening" in front of me, "dreamy" eye-contact and some very dodgy colours of dishdashas - pinks, lavenders, yellows.

So what's the deal folks? What's going on down there?

Saturday, 10 October 2009

There Will Be No More Posts On This Blog.....

....until lazy-arse Muscat Confidential posts something new.

Once again, I am holding up the blogosphere of dry wit and "inappropriate" humour.

Each of us must do their share! UD????? Where the f*ck are you?