Tuesday, 23 August 2011

Pay As You Go

As you know, Jet Driver has an affinity with all things Asian, and having recently been on a business trip to the Philippines, I had the good fortune of being taken for a trip out into the provinces to see some tourists sites. 

On one of these days out, I was feeling a little bit under the weather and therefore had the Immodium on standby. 
While sitting at a local picnic spot, I spied a big blue sign that said "Clean Comfort Room" (in the Philippines, the WC is known as the CR), and having spent the last few days dropping into holes in the ground, I decided to treat myself. 

The following conversation took place (pardon the pun), I shit you not!:

JD: Kumusta ka po? 
Madam: Hello sirrrrrrrr. What would you like to do sirrrrrr?

JD: I'm sorry, I don't understand. This is a toilet right? How much is it?
Madam: Pee? Or Poo sirrrrrr?

JD: What?
Madam: Will you pee or poo sirrrrrr? 5 pesos for pee. 12 pesos for poo.

JD: I need to do both, I think, so is that 17 pesos?
Madam: No sir, just 12. 

JD: Ahhhh so pee is free if you poo?
Madam: Sirrrrr?

JD: How much can I poo for 12 pesos? Is there a limit to the amount I can drop off?
Madam: Sir, no sirrrrrrr. Not like that sir. Same price sirrrr.

JD: I'm not feeling too well. What happens if I only thought that I wanted to poo and just pee'd instead? Can I get my 7 pesos back? 
Madam: Sirrrr?

JD: Can I get a refund if I don't poo?
.....and on it went.

Life is crazy in different ways, in different places.