Thursday, 24 December 2009

Seasons Greetings

I'm just dropping in to wish you all the very best for Christmas and the New Year.

My bags are packed, presents have been bought and now my plane is waiting to take me to a place that is far more conducive to the season at hand.

A single ticket has been purchased for this flight.
Jet Driver has some serious thinking to do over the next few weeks.
At this point in time, he has big reservations about returning to this place.
Not a happy bunny....not a happy bunny at all!

Until next year, my regards

Jet Driver

Wednesday, 16 December 2009

Airport Security

After a rather "emotional" flight in which the aircraft became schizophrenic, and then succeeded in accomplishing the near impossible task of scaring the living shit out of Jet Driver not once but five times, we elected to divert to the wonderful city of culture and high social evolution that is Manchester in the United Kingdom.

Ever feel completely out of place in your Lacoste shirt and Dockers trousers? Surrounded by Burberry-clad wankers in puffa jackets adorned with faux fur and cubic zirconium, side-kicked by greasy ringlet-haired life drop-outs wheeling two-year olds in a buggy that looks like something from space, while screaming obscenities into a mobile phone with more luminous strobes on it than an eighties disco.

It got better at the airport on the return journey. Go to security. "Make way ladies and gentlemen" said the guard, "aircrew coming through."
The usual Red Sea parting but I give a courtesy yield to the Airport Police Officer who is coming through to begin his shift.

He was sporting the following:
A pair of black police overalls.
A black baseball cap with "Police" written on it.
A bullet-proof vest and both shoulder and knee protectors.
An automatic weapon.
A pistol.
A telescopic baton.
A tin of pepper spray.
A couple of MagLites.
Various webbing pouches containing a first aid kit and a Leatherman tool.
And he's carrying a small plastic "Marks & Spencers" bag.

He walks around the security cordon, as he is wont to do.
"Uhmmmmm excuse me, sir." says the pre-pubescent, acne-covered "security agent" at the counter "You can't take that with you."

"I'm sorry. What?" says the copper.

"The banana and the bottle of water sir....leave it here please. Now. Quickly. I have passengers to deal with."

Cop replies with: "Have you got a supervisor mate? You know...someone who looks after you and makes sure you can find the bus home? Or better still....where are your parents? Does your Dad know you're here?", and plonked both banana and water into said moron's hands, while at the same time towering menacingly over him in a way that only heavily-armed police officers can.

Whoops and cheers from crew and passengers alike.
What the fuck is happening at your airports UK?
What indeed is happening to your entire country?
People.....stand up and stop this crap from happening.

Friday, 4 December 2009

Door to Door Begging Scam

In relation to the thread posted a while ago about the man who knocks on the door and says that his father is sick and a doctor for His Majesty.....
Well, he has just knocked on Jet Driver's door.

I gave him no money and then attempted to follow him but he drove so wrecklessly that I had to stop my pursuit.

He is driving a rented car and the registration plate is 6386T - a small white car.

Can anyone tell me now who would be the best person to contact about this scam?


According to the ROP, if he did not take any money then there is no point in me pursuing him. However, they did say that if any of you out there have lost money to him that they can pick him up using the data from the registration of the vehicle and then he can be charged if you recognise him.