Tuesday, 19 May 2009

Home Centre - The Land of Fabrication

I bought a new bedroom set at Home Centre - and two days ago, after a six week delay, it arrived at my house.
"Lying Scumbag Indian Centre" is what I have now taken to calling this company.

What the fuck is it about Indians and their seemingly genetic inability to tell the truth. To admit mistakes. To say "Sorry, but I fucked it up."?

What is it about their inability to say "Sorry, but this piece of furniture is out of stock and will be for the next six weeks or so, but I will be happy to order it for you, if you are willing to wait." instead of saying "Yes, sir. 550 rials please sir, and vee vill deliwer it tomorrow, sir, of course, yes please sir and vat is your good name?"

Then we have the guys who came to put it all together. 
More lies, more half truths. 
I gave him a drawing of the bedroom with descriptions of where I wanted the wardrobe and the bed - making sure to clarify that they knew where it all needed to go. 
Came back two hours later to find that one of the windows had disappeared because the wardrobe was in front of it, in the opposite corner and angle to where it was on the plan.

"You'll need to move that and the bed to where I told you to put it on the plan. That's the whole idea of a plan, dude."
"Cannot moo da now. Heavy sir." 
"You need to get you and your two mates, and the fat lazy specimen sitting downstairs in the truck and get your asses together and move that thing to where I asked you to put it.....now.....please......before one of us dies."

Eight screws per panel in the wardrobe - "Vee vill just use four and save time." and THAT was the real reason why they dared not try and move it!

"No sir. (More lies coming.) That is design sir. Denmark. Very gooda qwalitee." 
Turn my back for two seconds. Unmerciful crash. Wardrobe in pieces on the floor. 
All four twats now standing in a line in front of it, in a pathetic attempt to hide their gross incompetence, now realising that all screws and the metal support beam they left standing in the corner were indeed necessary for the satisfactory construction of said piece of furniture.

"Get the fuck out of my house!" 
"No but sir, please."

New stuff arrived yesterday. No carpenters. Will do it myself. It really is the only way.

22 comments:

Muscato said...

Wait - you left the room while they were there???? You're lucky they didn't end up putting the bedroom set on the roof!

It's incredibly annoying, but I'm afraid the rule of thumb with any service-provider hereabouts is that you have to micromanage them through every stage of the task they're engaged in, whether it's hooking up your satellite dish, making a minor household repair(I've learned to my cost never to leave an electrician alone, and the wall around the switch being repaired has the burn marks to prove it) or, as here, having "gooda qwalitee" furnishings badly assembled.

Reality said...

This is very funny! I feel sorry for you though :s ..

I bought some furniture from them a while ago, and their "gooda qwalitee" logo fell apart after a few uses :s

Bobby said...

LOL!
JD! Even we Indians never leave such ppl alone! My mom will be always be there eagle-eyed! You can't trust such ppl!
Home Centre! No wonder - my bed in MCT creaks everytime I move on it!

anisha raghuchandra said...

"What the fuck is it about Indians and their seemingly genetic inability to tell the truth. To admit mistakes. To say "Sorry, but I fucked it up."?"

-umm.. harsh!.. untrue.. i hardly think you can generalise and diss a whole race of people who pretty much help Oman run... from cleaning Oman's crap up to running major corps..
very offended anybody could be so pathetically blinded by an incident.
sorry about your mess... but OUCH!

Jet Driver said...

Anisha

Read the disclaimer, baby!
It's somewhere back in the early blogs.

"who pretty much help Oman run... " awwww sorry, thanks for that!
Here was me thinking that you came here for the money!

I'm sooooo naive! ;)

JD mwah! xx

anisha raghuchandra said...

do you really want to start on "you came here for the money!"..all human motive is vested..countries have been built on people who have moved across continents in search of opportunity.

the only reason I pointed to your statement is I grew up here , there is no other place I d call home, and if I am looked at as a lying inept scum bag, its gotta hurt!...

about your disclaimer.. it does not take away accountability for what you write. if you make a statement, stand by it. else, try being a little tolerant so you wont come across like an middle eastern red neck.

also , I think your posts are absolutely hilarious, up until I came to this one statement.. ! I don't intend on starting an on line feud. so... keep up the good work.

Rasputin said...

Racism at its best yet again, dissing an entire populace for an unhappy incident with a company
Shameful and pathetic.!!

upurbooty said...

what is it with you and indians dude !!!.. i am a brit and i have been here for a long time and i neve found any one lying to me ..it is sad to see you generalizing a race of people because of one incident .. I think you are just pissed off at all indians in general, i remember your earlier post about the indian mafia at lulu
"What the fuck is it about Indians and their seemingly genetic inability to tell the truth"
hey do you remember tony blair or george bush when did they tell the truth? ok it may seem a really out of context comparison but what i am saying is every race has lying ppl
you are nothing but euro trash
one of these days we are gonna call on you mate

Jamilla Camel said...

We're stopping in Dubai at the Festival City Mall Ikea and buying a lorryload of furniture for delivery to our new house at the Wave...to avoid such experiences! And yes, my Jamal can assemble everything that comes from Ikea!

Jet Driver said...

upurbooty

"i am a brit and i have been here for a long time and i neve found any one lying to me"

Brit as in pure Brit? Or an subcontinental blow-in with a UK passport?

" I think you are just pissed off at all indians in general"

Not at all - just the ones that well, piss me off!

"hey do you remember tony blair or george bush when did they tell the truth?"

Agreed....that is so far out of context that I am having trouble seeing it.

"but what i am saying is every race has lying ppl "

Correct - read ALL of my blog and you will see that my "pissed-offness" is not limited to one race.

"you are nothing but euro trash"

Yawwwwwwwwwwwn.

"one of these days we are gonna call on you mate"

"We"? the Brits? the Indians?
Will look forward to that! But errrrm......as I have said earlier, with your track record of lies and incompetence I'm working on the premise that:

1. You're talking through your arse and
2. Even if you were going to "call on me" - you'd probably fuck that exercise up as well.

Mwah!

JD

Anonymous said...

Hmm... interesting ... I suppose if you say fuck a lot of the times... perhaps best used with each and every word... you are so high and mighty...that only God can help ya right?? Well eat this you arsehole.... who the fuck...do you think you are..you fucking filthy piece of stinking white shit...???

Mind your tongue when you talk about us Indians... you scumbag...no make that crapbag... hmm... yea that sounds a lot better.... CRAPBAG

Jet Driver said...

Oooh look! Another Anonymous post!

"who the fuck...do you think you are..you fucking filthy piece of stinking white shit...???"

I think I'm the guy who got you to lose control and show your true colours using just my words.
But you are, of course, entitled to your opinion - even dumb racists are allowed to comment on my blog.

"Mind your tongue when you talk about us Indians"

'Us'?
Hey look, India - your "ambassador" is commenting on my blog on behalf of you all! :)

"hmm... yea that sounds a lot better.... CRAPBAG"

Is that it?
A whole internet of insults and the best that you can come up with is "crapbag"?

There you have it, folks - a textbook demonstration of a complete lack of basic intelligence, coupled with an explosion of anger-driven racism.
Or to sum our poster up in just one word - sad.

I hear Rock Bottom are looking for new bouncers.....you should apply.
Although on second thought, I think you need to have thumbs to do that job,or at least be half way up the evolutionary chain, so maybe not.

Now, get back in your box, you contemptuous little buffoon!

JD

Anonymous said...

Well..it would do you good to mind your tongue jetdriver.
I'm happy the Americans went ahead and did exactly the opposite of what you tutt-tutting brits do...LOL!!! TOO GOOD!
tut-tut-tutta-tut...oh those ridiculous Brit sounds, the white monkey-faces and the annoying stiff upper lip!! The world would do fine without you.
You don't own the world...you don't rule it...you can't change it either. So just shut your filthy mouth up, stop ranting, disparaging other races and go to back to your sweet country!

It's sad that your brain's so small and regressive it doesn't take in much in a good way. Get help...
HA HA HA! A buffoon always believes strongly that someone else is a buffoon, not himself! You're such a clown!

anisha raghuchandra said...

how do i delete my comment on this blog , because the follow ups i am getting do nothing but upset me.

i understand how someone's opinion would hurt somebody and make you mad enough to point it out. but this is just plain ridiculous.

anon- i get from what you are posting that you terribly ticked off, i was too. but what you are doing is disturbing again you are dissing a whole country because of what one person posted. you are just putting yourself at an all new low. do consider what you ve posted , i don't think anybody deserves such horrid things said to them.

Anonymous said...

Anisha...I wonder why you are so considerate towards this Ignoramus.. Forever, Indians have been tolerating everything that is said to them and this soft attitude is what encourages these ignorant whites to keep insulting and insinuating Indians. Let us stop being the tolerant fools that we are so we can give it back to these white monkeys.
A few words from Harivansh Rai Bachchan. Obviously the unacquainted white wouldn't understand a word of what's written down there! They cannot even pronounce the name Gandhi as should be.. LOL!!!

कुछ देर रहा हक्का-बक्का, भौचक्का-सा,
आ गया कहाँ, क्या करूँ यहाँ, जाऊँ किस जा?
फिर एक तरफ से आया ही तो धक्का-सा
मैंने भी बहना शुरू किया उस रेले में,
क्या बाहर की ठेला-पेली ही कुछ कम थी,
जो भीतर भी भावों का ऊहापोह मचा,
जो किया, उसी को करने की मजबूरी थी,
जो कहा, वही मन के अंदर से उबल चला,
जीवन की आपाधापी में कब वक़्त मिला
कुछ देर कहीं पर बैठ कभी यह सोच सकूँ
जो किया, कहा, माना उसमें क्या बुरा भला।

Jet Driver said...

"Obviously the unacquainted white wouldn't understand a word of what's written down there! They cannot even pronounce the name Gandhi as should be.. LOL!!!"

Indeed.

I will just go on "insinuating" Indians.

Sigh! - I really should put an over-18s limit on the blog.

And speaking of insinuating....what makes you think I'm British? Your errrr... big brain?

JD

Anonymous said...

Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.


Haaa... humm.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.......

Jet Driver said...

"Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative."

Ummmm....no.....

Writing silly little quotes that you read in some kind of "We Can Do It - Self Help Manual" is.

upurbooty-jd said...

anon i wish i could track jet driver down ....

no i am not an asian blow on with brit passport, i am a pure brit with a surname and all

Jamilla Camel said...

I'd like to say that we have had a faultless experience with our dining table and chair/delivery from the Home Centre at the City Centre.

Two chaps came with a large toolbox and compentently and efficiently assembled our dining table and chairs, taking the rubbish away with them. My other half was so impressed that he gave the guys a 5 rial tip.

ON THE OTHER HAND...we will not be ordering anything from Khimjis ever again! We have been waiting in vain for 2 days and have called the bloody dispatcher about 50 times and he never answers his phone! Come to think of it, the Khimji's sales staff never answer the phone either.

My other half finally got through to them on about the 65th call (not the driver) and the bed and mattress is finally coming today between 5:30 and 6. I just hope they know where The Wave is...

Jamilla Camel said...

The Khimji's morons just arrived at 9 pm tonight, 48 hours after they promised to deliver the bed. There is a huge gouge in the head board, and we rejected the order. They're now taking their crap out of the house. I want my money back. We're going somewhere else, and sleeping on a damn inflatable mattress AGAIN.

OK, now Khimjis says they can replace the bloody head board tomorrow, 5 minutes ago it was 2 days (that was after I demanded my money back).

They're building the bed without the headboard now.

Can you tell that I am ROYALLY INCENSED at this shit? How DARE they try to assemble damaged goods at our house?>

On the other hand, the curtains and blinds from Hilmi Trading (tel. 699944) were completed three days ahead of schedule and they are coming to install the window coverings at 9 a.m. This firm is prompt, polite, and professional, and carries a great selection of European furnishing and window fabrics and treatments.

GRRRRRRRRR!

Muddling through... said...

Hey "upyourbooty-jd" - you're a what?

..."A pure Brit"...

Bwahahahahahah....

Sounds like your language skills definitely have a connection to the subcontinent...

You really gave the game away there laddie...

JD - gotta say darl, Muscato is absolutely right.

You really did set yourself up to the disaster...

Never, never, never leave a so-called tradesperson alone to do their job. Watch them & correct them, every step of the way... or suffer the consequences...

Even Bobby says so...

Oh, and JD? I think your blog is ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY fabulous.

Keep up the good work.