Monday, 3 October 2011

Another Hamster Wheel In The Making

Well, I said it before, and it would appear that my words are starting to hold true again.
A few years ago, I wrote a blog about what has now become affectionately known as the Shatti Hamster Wheel


A place where there are lots of westerners and not-so-westerners in clothes that do not consist of a black curtain ensemble, is always going to attract the usual sexually-oppressed teen boys, even though they have no financial means of affording the girl sitting there holding the Starbucks Frappolatté!


So the only release from the pressures of a swollen wang for these poor souls was to drive around in a circle passing Jawharat Al Shatti and Sarooj: with a group of six chipping in a rial each to buy petrol for the car. 
Multiply the above scenario by three hundred and you get a kilometre long 'Bombay carbonfibre' road-monster which moves at 20 kph.


Looking at the geography of Muscat, it is not difficult to find out where this monster was spawned: Mawaleh. 


And it does not take a rocket scientist to work out that if it was possible to move the whole Shatti Circus closer to home, then that would save a ton of fuel and wear and tear on the Mustangs, Corollas and Serions. 


They've fantasized about it for years. 
The hopes of a new hamster wheel to go round and round on. A place where girls in bikinis drink cappuchinos under parasols and the roads are wide enough for 'modified rims, nigga!"








And finally, their prayers have been answered.
Ladies and gentlemen.....welcome to The Wave!




You can rationalize or even argue to deny it's existence, but the eye does not lie. There is a hamster wheel in the making down at Costas on a Thursday night...and it is getting bigger....and they've even made the route circular for them!


"Ah but there's security booths at the front entrance of my 250,000 rial villa." 
Be that as it may, but tell me exactly what is a security guard going to do about stopping a car full of young men who are on their way down to Costas to buy a coffee? 
And what about the rumours for the shwarma and other fast-food outlets?


I can see the Indian sales guys at eMax rubbing their little paws together at the thoughts of all those JBL bass cannons that they are going to sell now that the Mawaleh possie don't have to spend so much on gas anymore!
"I love it when ya call me big Poppa".......


That area is PUBLIC ACCESS! They can go wherever they please, and mark my words, in six months time they will be coming in hordes. And they're going to, pardon the pun, drive you nuts...
...assuming you can hear them over the F-16s that are going to be ripping the roof off your villa when the new runway gets built!


"I feel the need! The need......for speed!"


Oh yeeeeeeah!


JD

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Excellent!

Adnan

Jamilla Camel said...

Sounds like they'd better get better-armed security! I've seen them trying to pick up Filipina maids who are minding children/walking dogs....

Nadia said...

Yup.

AZ said...

As Shatti resident, I am pleased to read that the cruising crowd is moving. Your description of the Wave hamster wheel in the making looks suspiciously similar to the description of developing "adverse weather condition"!

Terry said...

HAHAHAHA!!! What a waste buying at The Wave only to have to deal with these pests!

Jet Driver said...

The most naive comment I heard from a woman who was just about to hand over 200,000 RO was "after a few months they will get tired of it and go somewhere else"..........

Yeah...... right!

Terry said...

I would seriously be asking to close that area off to the public if this menace is going to be doing the rounds. Not worth losing your living privileges for a Costa Coffee near by.

Lover Lover said...

I hope it doesn't interrupt all the taxi drivers dogging in the car park next to the Oman Sail tent!

Jet Driver said...

Once the sweeping cast of headlamps increases, the taxi drivers will move back to the waste ground beside MAM camp.

Eventually, they will have nowhere else to dog, and so we can expect the first Muscat Coming Out Parade!

Desertman said...

You seem to know an awful lot about dogging locations there, Jet Driver. All in the interests of accurate reporting? ;-)

Jet Driver said...

Heheh!

Just what I overhear at work! :)

The Linoleum Surfer said...

Fabulous! Man I'm glad I live in a cul-de-sac...