Thursday, 27 November 2008

Tables, Chairs and Foodcourts

Hello darlings! 

JetDriver has returned from the "dark place" - where computers and mobile phones are not allowed - nor are microwave ovens! :)

Nice to come back to the eclectic spread of blogs and rants - gives me an hour's entertainment on an otherwise mundane Thursday. 

National holidays eh? According to colleagues, our Omani staff got struck down with illness on Saturday and Sunday, and then a funeral in Salalah on Monday - terribly unfortunate for them. 

Anyway......

What the fuck is wrong with people who walk into Costas, Starbucks or wherever, sit down, take out the phone and open the paper and sit there......WITHOUT ORDERING SOMETHING?! 
And then look at you like you're mental when you ask if they are going to move, because you have actually paid to use the table.

Does this place want me to write "A Guidebook To Civilised Consumerism" ?

If you want to have the shopping malls and the bookstores and the boutiques; and you want the visitors and the tourist-money and the positive international press - you have to start learning how to behave properly. 

Here's the basics:

It's a queue - a line. Wait your fucking turn!

Folks. Pay attention. It's a 4x4, it's real and if you walk out in front of it, pretending not to see me in the car-park, it's going to hurt - really hurt! 

Gentlemen. You are going to get punched and it is going to happen sooner than you think. 
Tourism is on the up. 
More couples are visiting, ergo, you have a higher, almost imminent chance of having your teeth smashed in for leering. 
Also, most tourists are in better shape than you (even the girls), so that punch is going to have a lasting memory for you! Stop gawking!

(And just to add to this, boys: If you touch, you're in serious trouble. I mean it! 
To the guy who rubbed himself against my girlfriend in MCC last month......someday mate, she will see you again, and she will point, and I will put you in traction. You have my word.)

As for the person who stopped his Yukon at the entrance to Carrefour and waited for his wife and housemaid to come out with two trolleys and then proceed to load it all up, while the line of drivers behind you were going apoplectic - not cricket, old chap.

Hacking up your lungs at the table next to mine in the Foodcourt ..... just don't, ok? Don't.

Get your laptop, go to Google and look up "Common Courtesy" and "Manners" - and while you're at it....."Sexual Harrassment" and "Having your jaw wired".

End of rant. It's great to be back!

8 comments:

Bobby said...

LOL!
Love it!
Yea, I too see these people in cafes sitting and chatting (the Indian chatting includes things like shouting, laughing, crying) without ordering anything!

Blue_chi said...

MJD, I love your blog, but for reason all the text appears white when I view it in my reader (I use Google Reader to read blogs). I am not sure if you do this intentionally, because the style of your blog will automatically change the colour of the text when you view it on the blog itself, so there is no need to manually set it to white when you make the post.

Jet Driver said...

Blue_Chi:

I wasn't aware of that so have been indeed setting it in the window!

Will post the next one without adjustment and hopefully it will be ok for you then.

Regards

JD :)

boxster said...

Welcome back, but why so angry?

Stop pushing your colonial-imperial consumerist attitudes. These people live more relaxed lives, void of the buy-sit-eat-move-work-stand in line-behind the yellow line militarism :)

Though I agree with the touching part: you touch - you go down !

Lastly, your posts show up white in my rss aggregator as well.

Leo Americanus said...

Boxster,
Your comments kill me. Colonial-imperial? Your logic comes through as if you swallowed a large dose of 1970s Arab nationalist propaganda and are still bleeding it out. It is a blog. It is a rant. It is therapy. You are a boob. And if "these people" are so relaxed, then why do a consistent minority feel the need to rush to the head of the queue, push others out of the way, disregard traffic rules by driving on the wrong side of the street or the shoulder to get to the head of a line of 50 cars, and generally just push and bully their way through life? It is not militarism to operate within some boundaries, it is being considerate for those around you and not living in a me-first world. Cultural sensitivity doesn't mean anything goes. An ass is still an ass.

L_Oman said...

(insert the sound of a cracking whip)

:)

Jet Driver said...

Leo:

I think the Boxter's comments were tongue-in-cheek :)

JD

James said...

Simpply brilliant!